Fuckin'

saigon oi

2007-06-05T02:51:00.000-04:00

Saigon dep lam, saigon oi saigon oiiii!
Now playing: the sound of construction and honking - the streets of Thanh Pho Ho Chi Minh

Sitting in Vinh’s old room at his mother’s house. VIETNAM IS AMAZING!!! So different from America. Motorcycles everywhere – going places is a treat in itself…so many things to see, so many shops, so many people, Vietnamese food EVERYWHERE! =] everywhere I go I get stares – it’s obvious I’m Viet Kieu…hehe. Dunno if that’s a good thing of bad thing yet…raining really hard right now…apparently I came during the rainy season. Hot as fuck in the morning, then showers in the afternoon cool it off…first Viet food in VN was bun bo hue at this place called “Bun Vietnam”. It was actually really good, fresh, not too salty. I was mad hungry. We went to try n get my cell phone unlocked before bun today but I already told Vinh mine was unlocked. Went to get sinh to sa rieng after – pretty good, not sweet enough, but I had fun sipping that as we zoomed through the city. Got held up by some funeral procession for a dai tuong. Am at quan phu nhuan, while we take an afternoon break. Got in at around 1130 last night…taxi guy took me through the city, saw dinh thong nhat/doc lap, and nha tho duc ba…but it wasn’t too impressive at night…still badass though. Taxi went to Kim Long hotel but Vinh decided it was a waste of money to spend 28 bux for a few hrs, so we ended up going to his place. Real nice, wooden floors, marble countertops, internet, cable, all in all very nice by Viet standards. I was pleasantly surprised, thought I wouldn’t mind spending the entire month here. Vinh proposed that I do actually, which is quite good news. Vinh is an awesome guy, congenial, funny, very helpful when it comes to all things Saigon. Hes actually quitting his job soon so he said hes gonna take me wherever I wanna go for the month…which is fucking spectacular. I got lucky…hahah…though I haven’t actually told any1 why im here…ill tell vinh at some pt though I wonder how hell take it…riding through town on his moto is wow…I recorded some video…nothing like it in America…Signs with socialist slogans everywhere, ho chi minhs mug everywhere -- Vinh tells me he hates it, that the govt is a bunch of liars, but that its much better now than it was 10 yrs ago. Fascinating stuff... Vietnam reminds me of mexico actually…poor but lively, people everywhere, some shops run down, some shops decent, it really depends where u go…some places have rather modern things so juxtaposed with the surroundings, its sometimes kinda jarring… computers and cell phones are prevalent, everyone has a phone and easy access to the internet, and vinh has several computers and a laptop, two houses with several motos – his family is actually very well off it seems. Hes 26, a production manager at a Ho Chi Minh City chemical company and his dad lives in the states. Mother is verrrry nice, had lunch at her place (bun bo hue was breakfast!), had some kinda meat that I still cant figure out and their descriptions didn’t help (nho^ng), lives in sand apparently, can only be found in the summer, will figure it out when I get home, anyway made rolls, cham nuoc mam, good stuff. Had coconut juice jello in its shell for dessert – really good. Trying to keep healthy, trying to find a gym but so far so good, hopefully I wont put on weight, but something tells me with my wanting to eat anything and everything I see, that might be a problem. Hah. So happy to be here…its an absolutely breathtaking experience.

Will post pix n video when i load them onto my comp!

visa08

2007-05-07T20:39:00.000-04:00

A year for ViSA '08...
Now playing: Raise the Red Lantern

Top: May 2006
Bottom: May 2007

We didn't plan on being in the same order...it happened spontaneously. Funny how everyone has almost the same poses too...weird...we're fading, literally (bad flash?) and figuratively... Senior year is coming up so fast...im sad...I know its gonna be over before i even realize it. =[

2007-05-04T20:56:00.000-04:00

DJ Sammy - Why

i cant tell if i admire these women, envy them, or want to be them. they're quite stunning...
one of my favorite songs of all time...original version is saved for downer times. its 9 pm. about to preparty. definitely a good time.

what you do to me

2007-05-03T19:57:00.000-04:00

What you do to me...
Now playing: Bent - A Ribbon for My Hair

I don't even know what alcohol does to me anymore, whether it amplifies emotions or creates them altogether. Last night was so weird. I got sad towards the end of the night for no legit reason, other than WANTING to be emotional. Sat down during the party and was consoled for a while. People thought I was sick (again). i wasn't. Spoke of past heartbreak, tried to explain my emotions...how when I fall for someone, i give them my everything....that its hard to untangle myself from someone even after the physical separation...im sure this all came out as drunk rambling and not nearly as coherent as im writing now.

he was being so damned awkward...and this was corroborated by several different people. i was sitting on the couch, he walked over, kicked me in the shin, waved quickly, and then LITERALLY ran off. people around me who saw the exchange were like "what the fuck was that?" I honestly didn't know how to answer them. i was as confused as they were. and now i know its not all in my head. this kid doesn't quite know how to normalize relations.

ugh, drunken texting is never a good idea. he asked me if i was ok. i in my drunken stupor responded with "miss you too much. thats my problem" which come today is really inexplicable. the reality is i DONT miss him and seeing him as skinny as he is now makes me realize that i don't find him as physically attractive anymore. and the more i think about it, even if we had still been going out now, we wouldve had to break it off during my 2 months abroad this summer anyway. spoke about last night with a friend today...its definitely more i miss what he represented in my life (someone to be affectionate with) than him as a person. hate the fact that i miscommunicated with him. someone please take my phone away from me when i start drinking.

anyway, alcohol + emotions =never a good thing.

had such weird dreams last night...one was about how i was busted for eating at a chinese buffet without paying, complete with broken chinese dialogue, indignancy, fake crying to get out of trouble, and attempts to blame a washing of the hands for why i had no stamp. it was twisted...but a fun dream. i had snuck into a buffet and was eating to my hearts content. was only caught when i went up to get a plate of steamed shrimp rolls with that sweet sauce (dim sum), holding several other plates of food, and the lady asked to see my stamp. and thats when the shit hit the fan. the chinese ladies/waitresses were old and mean. i remember saying "ni shuo tai kuai le", the waitresses rolling their eyes, and then speaking chinese slower so i could understand them. haha. i then told them to check with their staff at the front desk to prove that i had paid...i figured all us asians looked alike and that maybe someone might mistakenly recognize me as someone who had paid. didnt work. none of them said they remembered me. then i turned on the eye faucets. cried , became indignant, told them i had been a loyal customer for years (i wasnt). lol. they were gonna file charges but instead they tore up the slip and let me go, after my crying game. just told me never to come back. juan was with me. i dunno y he wasnt caught...haha. as far as i knew i left the restaurant with him still eating upstairs...lol.

today was such a beautiful day....i kept smiling to myself...gorgeous red tulips outside cls (they were absolutely mesmerizing!)...and sparrows are the cutest fucking birds ever. =]

and now for your viewing pleasure, a (drunken) wide-eye contest between mel, juan, and i. ironic that the asian beats the mexican....look at him! THATS the widest he can open his eyes! what a LOSER! lol. cateyed juanus...

april 30

2007-04-30T00:48:00.000-04:00

The 30th of April...
Now playing: De Nuit - All That Mattered (Love You Down)

Ngay quoc han hay la ngay giai phong?
Day of National Shame or Liberation Day?

The monumental difference in perspective within one ethnic group is fascinating to the say the least. We, Vietnamese, are split. Those in America call today the former, those who still live in Vietnam under the Communist regime, the latter.

It's the day Saigon
fell to the Communists/
was liberated by the Communists,
ngay Sai Gon sup do/
ngay Sai Gon giai phong.

I express agreement with both sides, for varying reasons. It is, indeed, a VERY dark day of shame for those Viet Kieu who were forced to leave the homeland, but also one of celebration for native Vietnamese who for more than a thousand years lived under the domination of the Chinese, the Japanese, and the French. On this day, the country was reunited as an independent nation and for that, i cannot wholeheartedly say i disapprove.

i, however, still have an insurmountable amount of respect and sympathy for my parents' generation. the incomprehensible amount of hardships they went through to get us here, the debt we owe to them -- it can never be repaid. I am eternally grateful for their sacrifice.

...Though today will be universally mourned as a tragic and momentous day by all Vietnamese-Americans, I still like to look at the bright side. Of course, we Viet Kieu were also liberated on this day. We did end up in America after all, blessed with a life of opportunity, prosperity, and freedom.

the family

2007-04-29T03:45:00.000-04:00

complete...
Now playing: De Nuit - All That Mattered (Love You Down)

we'll always be a family.
i won't ever forget.
we were four then. we'll be four again.

(in order of age):

me thinks im a commie

2007-04-24T23:34:00.000-04:00

me thinks im a communist...
Now playing: DJ Sammy - Why (Extended mix)

all right so i may have pro-communist leanings. no thats not right. i lead idealistically toward communism...or prolly more toward socialism. my vietnamese professor suspects im with the reds after i went on a little tirade in a reading response about how the (south) vietnamese here in america (who are vehemently anti-communist) should explain to the younger generation both sides of the story, including the part about the communists and their idealism. To be fair, i was merely saying all this bc the objective perspective is the only one that's wholly truthful. anyway, for my final project he recommended that i translate an article in vietnamese about the "evil deeds of the communist army", an article written by south vietnamese authors, which to simply put it, is not as objective as i would have liked. i think its pretty obvious he's trying to sway me away from the red flag with the gold star...

add to that the fact that we've been studying the cultural revolution in chinese history all week (my favorite part of all chinese history btw). ive been thinking about it lately and i KNOW if i had been living in the 60s and 70s i SOOOO would have been a red guard. something about the pure idealism of the communist revolution, the enormity of the situation, the idea that i could directly affect some change on my country, alter the nation's history (presumably) for the better, it all would have been my cup of tea...beatin people left n right (hah jk...beating intellectuals jus aint right...i never quite understood y they did that...). The RED everywhere would have totally sealed the deal (its my favorite color). Red just has so much inherent meaning...passion, love, blood, rage...its a striking color...and it has the ability to provoke extreme emotion....The bright red hues all over the place would have whipped me intro a frenzy...a communist frenzy....lol.

there's just something about idealism too (including that of communism) that always seems to hook me. i blame sailor moon. that show is mad idealistic. it instilled in me a rather large dose o' ideals, especially the belief that mankind is inherently good. i suppose i do stick by those same principles today....to a point. im not going to ignore reality either though. I keep my ideals close to the heart (in the form of hope), but i live in the realm of practicality.

oh and i want one of those badass red arm bands too. somethin about the yellow sickle and hammer arranged as they are against a red background...ish quite asthetically pleasing...

anyway, i admire communism/socialism in theory. IN THEORY. i know in practice, its a goddamn shitshow bc some people (mao included) fuck it up...which is a shame but for now, that's just the way mankind is...im sure at some point in humanity's future, society will be more conducive and human nature will be less....selfish...

out of it

2007-04-23T03:29:00.000-04:00

Out of fuckin' control...
Now playing: Annie Lennox - Why

What an odd Sunday...been feeling strange all day. Can't even quite put my finger on it. Juan and I woke up on this (beautiful) day and decided to go shopping (read: visit H&M!). Been craving galang mussels from Thai Taste all week (dammit the sauce is so good!) but instead settled for Taco Bell at the mall for lunch.

Last night was a disaster on so many levels...well mainly one -- The Co-op dance. All other problems seemed to stem from that at least. Wow, I am embarassed and angry to say the least at how bad that dance went. You know it's bad when the core of active LGBT students on campus largely didn't show up. I pretty much knew it was coming -- no advertisements till 2 days before and my asking friends whether they were going to the dance were met with "What dance? There's a Co-op dance?"...and this was the day OF the dance. So Juan and I decided to drink away the impending misery that night. Suffice to say, this numbing of the mind (and soul?) with alkie precipitated social faux pas and other general behaviors that characterize being "out of control", and there you have my Saturday night.

I can say, however, that I held my treasurer responsibilities at the forefront during the dance, though it was to a fault bc of my being drunk. I was cashier, manning the door with Juan and Anna, taking cash and marking hands. Perhaps in my subconscious drive to fill our coffers for the next incoming Co-op board (elections are today, Monday), I rather stringently made everyone pay their appropriate amounts, even when the dance was flopping and they should've just been let in for free to spur more people to come....OOPS. Juan and I were more or less like the Gestapo when it came to making people pay and checking hands, which now that I remember back, must have been annoying as fuck for the few people that did come. Apologies. Anna had to confiscate the "Paid" stamp from Juan bc apparently he was stamping too hard. lol. "Don't do that..." Particularly annoyed by the end of the night. Juan and I stayed after the dance ended and were helping Anna move chairs but bc I was still kinda drunk, i was (unintentionally) dragging the chairs. Anyway, I didn't have to fuckin stay (i mean half the board didn't even show up for the dance, I figured I'd done my part by actually being there the entire night...) but i decided to help anyway, only to be met with a "if you can't move the chairs right, you can just go." I kept my mouth shut lest i unleash an angry barrage at Anna about that and the dance in general (which I'd prolly regret the next day).

Being on the Co-Op board has been pretty exhausting this semester to say the least. The political atmosphere here at Yale has been particularly unsettled, especially among minorities, ever since that Rumpus debacle last year with the Asians. Gays and lesbians, in particular, have faced multiple offensive (and anonymous) acts this year, and I honestly can't believe it's actually happening here at Yale. I thought we were all liberal, intelligent, open-minded people for fuck's sake. Who the hell are these perpetrators??

On a happier note I suppose, Saturday night ended up well enough. Juan came stumbling back to my place at around 4 am, ranting and raving about various issues of annoyance and I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. Here follows a random sampling of Juan's topics of discussion last nite: housing and the people at 94 (whom Juan characterized verbally and physically as "Retards"), "that stupid bitch who didn't know about the hell-doll" (the mother in the first Chuckie movie-lol. random i know but it was hilarious as fuck), boys, the Co-op dance, not knowing where he went after he ran off in front of A-1, and Brickhouse Oven pizza. The night culminated with juan sending an AMAZING panlist email asking the people at 94 about next year's housing situation. It basically consisted of Juan playing dumb, pretending he didn't have a place to live next year (he does...though not with 94 obviously), pleading with them to know "where we were gonna live next year", and ending it with "I love all o ya'll". The best part was his actually ending every sentence with "lolz". It was great. As far as I know right now, no one actually responded to it. Haha.

Ah shedding tears of laughter I was....though today I can't say the same, sadly enough. I don't know what the deal is. Been thinking about it all day. I almost feel like I'm losing control...I'd like to blame it on the alcohol but I know that probably isn't the problem at all and I'm just deflecting. It's like I KNOW that logically, I should be feeling fine. I have no real problems in my life and I have an amazing summer to look forward to...so what exactly is my issue today? I just don't know...

JEEZUS, I'm so ready to get the hell outta here. School totally kills my soul. Learning is great but lord I hate structured learning. I suppose I hate anything that obstructs my wanting to do whatever whenever. Which is maturation: learning how to swim against the tide or learning how to swim with it?

suddenly i see

2007-04-21T14:31:00.000-04:00

Suddenly I see...
Now playing: KT Tunstall - Suddenly I See

Rough night last night. Drinking on an empty stomach I suppose is never a good thing. Felt like picking a fight AGAIN. lol. i don't know what the deal is. Passed out at a table at Yorkside for an hour at least. It felt like five minutes. Lucky...bc a certain individual whom Juan invited could have easily set me off. Oh that would have been glorious. GLORIOUS i say. 300-level glorious. I'm talkin dowwwntown.

OH, Juan is going to Singapore with meeee! I'm so fuckin psyched. We're gonna be chewin gum and jaywalkin like nobahdy's bizzness. Apparently oral sex is illegal too =[ I picked up my $3000 check from SEAS yesterday for my trip to VN (I'll be studying gay culture there! woot.)...man I don't think I have ever had so much money in bank account.

So I've found that since I wrote the last entry about reliving memories with past bf's that I don't do it anymore...like at ALL. I really don't understand why and it's not like I'm actively stopping myself. I suppose writing it out made things more lucid to me and helped me completely sever myself from the past...iono. Now I find I focus more on the happiness in the present and future. The joys of what I have now and the happiness that could be waiting around the corner seems more promising to me than anything else.

I think its a good change. =]

a smatherin.

2007-04-17T00:32:00.000-04:00

Just felt like writin'. Stuff to be addressed.
Now playing: Jay Chou - Ju Hua Tai

so this weekend was a pretty damn cool. juan and i put together a bangin' gayalies party with madonna as the theme (madonna-rama as we labeled it), though most credit goes to juan for bookin venue, downloadin the musik videos, and acquiring a projector to display huge movies of madonna on the wall. partay was a hit, packed from 11 onwards and inebriation was experienced by all (though i did start to panic when we ran dry around 1230-1). haha. juan and i started drinking as we set up the party around nine, so by the time it was bouncin, we were both pretty, um, content (hah). i dont remember half that night (tsk tsk i know), but there were a few key moments that night that did and will stick with me for a while, simply bc i couldnt explain it or bc it was very much meaningful to me.

this falls in with the former. i distinctly remember feeling the urge to pick a fight. i have no idea why. i was slightly irritable, enraged, or jus feeling antsy (blame the alkie), but the aggressiveness had to be kept in check (though i do remember pinning raj against the couch, demanding that "we stay on good terms", lol which needless to say, was self-defeated. and i did beat (hit) juan a few times too for reasons i will explain below). i dont know why i was irritated, might be the fact that i see the same gay faces over and over and become subconsciously frustrated at the lack of change (read: scarcity of compatible men), might be the fact that some gays i feel seem to display everything that i abhor in a representative of the gay community (whorishness, desperation, 2 faced-ness, etc.). i have yet to figure out what the complete picture is, but i know for certain i have underlying anger/rage issues i need to deal with, issues with the gay community as well as issues with my own life (childhood?) in general.

this memory falls in with the latter. so deep into the party, juan comes up to me and tells me that two separate people approached him and told him that they thought he and i were going out. ben even jokes that juan and i are like a married couple (im the husband of course ;) . haha. now im not upset about this in the slightest except for the fact that we both realized at that same moment that we had been cockblocking each other for THREE YEARS. lol. haha it doesnt seem like a big deal now of course as i sit here sober but for some reason, it was really upsetting that night, and i rained a shower of blows down upon juan. it was quite satisfying. juan had to restrain me. haha. but then we realized (with the help of mel as mediator i think. i cant remember too clearly the smaller details) that this misconception was actually a very good thing. im not going to lie -- juan and i spend a LOT of time together. we eat nearly every meal together and i can honestly say that he's one of my greatest friends here at yale and probably THE friend i feel i have bonded with deepest in all my life. i know --special right? ;] but seriously, were just really close. we enjoy each others company, we can laugh about everything, we have weird (sometimes disgusting/perverted) inside jokes that other people would prolly find morbid or just disturbing, and we are both extremely accepting and open to one another. there's pretty much nothing i wouldnt tell juan, just bc theres nothing that i would feel uncomfortable telling him. anyway i had to be calmed down a bit, but right afterward, we jus ended up drunkenly hugging on the back patio, with simultaneous "awww's" as we realized our 'cockblocking' was actually the result of a very meaningful thing. that memory stuck with me that night and probably will for a long time. hilariously, kristy told me the next day over brunch that when we hugged, while i had my head rested on his shoulder, he had openly declared that "now we are one..." as a corny joke. haha -- cheesy i know. ;D but it sits close to my heart.

speaking of heart, im realizing more and more that in my idle time, when im walking to class, resting on a machine at the gym, or just lying in the bed staring at the stucco ceiling, i find that my mind ALWAYS wanders back to the happiest moments of my life - the moments i had spent with the men i gave pieces of my heart to. i think of all of them at one pt or another, some more than others. my mind constantly replays or thinks back to the extreme contentment i felt in those tiny but unforgettable moments of intimacy -- lying in the park together looking at the constellations, my first kiss, watching his chest slowly rise and fall as he laid sleeping next to me, cuddling on the couch together while watching contact and having him fall asleep with his head on my chest, lying in his arms with my head buried beneath his chin, our little game of cat and mouse between his bed and his futon...i dunno. its never the sexual intimacy that i remember most, its the moments of tenderness and fondness that i always think about. and i never instinctively think back to the bad memories either (and believe me there were plenty with each and every guy.) it takes effort to remind myself of the unpleasantness and i only do it when i need to stop myself from taking it any further. i suppose those just arent worth remembering. they do say your memories of people often improve with time, even if a person has caused u great hurt (and they have.) i also suppose this is why i cant ever completely 100% "let go", though i do try damn hard (up to 97-98%?). my emotions are usually kept in check with reason and reality, and i find happiness in everyday life. and it's not even that i miss them either...i think i jus desperately yearn to return to that paramount happiness or at least to relive the memory and experience the emotions again, even if just for a second. they were such glorious moments, and they make life so worthwhile. i live for those little moments. i really do.

high on life

2007-04-11T15:44:00.000-04:00

Wow the post-presentation feeling is amazing...
Now playing: Seal - Crazy

Just finished my 20 min presentation about solar eclipses in Chinese History (a presentation in which i was corrected 30 seconds in for pronouncing penumbra "preumbra" lol.) and am now sitting in my room, jammin to obscenely loud music and getting ready for the gym. Feeling fucking amazing. Happy. Content. Things are so good right now. The presentation was basically the only big obstacle left between me and my ri-fuckin-diculous summer and now its down. So now i basically just count down the days till I leave this continent for the pleasures of the Far (South)East....ah Vietnam, Singapore, Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia...wait for me...

dude.

2007-04-09T01:51:00.000-04:00

WOW. I'm so done.

Man. fuck you. just FUCK YOU. I am so tired of trying. I am so tired of it all. Fuck you. You know I always thought you would be someone I'd never want to forget, but now I can't wait till I fucking do. Shit is just ridiculous.

I hope you find happiness in that empty bowl of yours.

Daily themes = more blog entries! (hooray.)

2007-01-31T18:44:00.000-05:00

DAILY THEMES = MORE BLOG ENTRIES! (hooray.)

So I applied to Daily Themes last semester -- it's an english class where you write a 300 word paper EVERY night on some topic they give you -- and I got in so I thought I'd share the entries I write every night cuz usually they sound like blog entries anyway and well, I feel bad for neglecting my two readers. ;] Willy never forgets! Usually they're about some part of my life (I mean why make up shit when you're life can be pretty ridiculous on its own right?!) and help explain to myself (and probably a lot of other people) why I am the way I am. College really has been a time of self-exploration and realization, and I think I've learned more about the intricacies of my personality, my beliefs, and my values here at Yale than at any other point during my life. So here goes...into the disturbed (but entertaining!) psyche of one Will N-gooyen:

This one was supposed to be yourself speaking in first and third person, describing two facets of ur personality:

I am the feminine one, he the masculine. I speak the emotions, the passions, the needs, the sadness, the turmoil. He shouts the wants, knocks down the walls, stalks. I move the pen; he knocks it out of my hand. I am and will never be at rest, never content, always upset at my insecurities, bawling at life's unfairness. I am the one who is fucked in bed, but then again, that is perhaps my only moment of singular happiness. To lie in embrace, to be overtaken, covered, consoled is comfort. He fucks, and fucks he does -- toys with men's hearts, for that emotional high, for the want to be needed. I cry for the past, he screams for the future. He is the external, the one everyone sees, he is what everyone expects him to be, back straight, shoulders wide, chest forward -- a man. I cower behind him, holding onto the tail of his jacket, afraid to be judged, demeaned for being a sissy.

I was the one who was pissed at Mike, curled up in his bed after agreeing to come over late that night, feeling lonelier with him inches away than I had ever been in moments of isolation. I was the one in eternal search for a father figure.

He just didn't care. He wanted sex, that's all. It had been nearly two years, and never had he stopped to realize that he was still making my heart bleed for some superficial satiation. For him, it was a victory. He was back in his ex's bed. He was wanted again, wanted again by someone who had dumped his ass two years ago.

A sad boy indeed.

****

This one was supposed to be your interests, written in "dry", "slaty" language. (Yeah i didn't know what it meant either):

I like smells, good and bad--mainly good. Acqua di gio, gasoline, a man's flesh, post-rain grass, semen, permanent marker -- all excite in one way or another. I like emotions, good and bad--mainly bad, identifying them, soaking in them, amplifying them with music. It makes me feel alive, and so does sex. James Baldwin and I would probably not get along. I suppose for now my principal aim in life is pleasure (and I can be earnest about select things), but then again, what do you do with life if you can't go after things that make you feel alive? Play dead? James Baldwin is too stiff.

Choice. Change. The weather. Things that splay. The way a wave curls before it breaks. I too like destruction, randomness, Kali, Chinese characters, and naming my future children after Greek gods. I try to be a good person, but I like seeing those who deserve to be hurt hurt. Playing one song on repeat for days on end pleases. A good set of pecs, biceps, a broad back (and a brain, of course) thrills. Sleeping naked is great but not for those with a double. I like to laugh, even at the expense of others, though I do have a limit.

I am not scared of death but I cannot say the same of a dirty toilet seat or shiny keyboard.

I hate Paris Hilton, disappointment, religion, the cold, and the stupid, people and otherwise.

****

This one was supposed to a be a comparison of two words with the same meaning but different connotation. I picked fucking and making love (hah!):

Making love and fucking, like onion rings and Funyuns, diamond and cubic zirconia, the American dollar and Monopoly money.

One's the cheap, tawdry counterpart of the other. Sure, they might look alike, might be just as fun, and hey, sometimes tastes just as good! But there's that inherent supremacy, that depth. Making love has got more stock, more value, more emotion to it. It's cultivated, meticulously prepared, designed to withstand, like a farmer's crop. Fucking is like going to Kroger's and buying the cherry for, I don't know, $3.99 a pound. It's easy to buy and easy to forget, good while it lasts though.

No example makes the distinction more apparent than the following:

Ah, prostitutes, harlots, ladies of the evening -- they are the litmus test of the sexual world. (And like real litmus paper, are used for their purpose and discarded). You could fuck a prostitute if the price is right, but it'd be damn near impossible to make love to her. I'm not sure she'd want it anyway. Fucking is her job; making love her aspiration (when she's off the clock, of course).

For those Us Weekly-oriented persons, here's a more fitting analogy: making love was something I'm sure Brad Pitt did with Jennifer Aniston. With that sultry home-wrecker Angelina Jolie, I really don't know. While Angelina may be undeniably scorching, she lacks that wholesomeness Jennifer has. Making love to Jennifer can result in you bringing her home to Mom and Dad, fucking Angelina can result in you bringing her to a VD clinic.

Ultimately, fucking is like riding the bus--you hop on only to get off.

Making love is like flying a plane--you have to train a really long time for it, but when you hit that high point, baby you can touch the sky.

****

This piece was about all my past boyfriends. The goal was to use a word in each sentence that you had never used before.

I remember when you fell asleep on me, tucked into that cranny between arm and chest. We were lying on the couch, watching Contact, and Jodie Foster had just lightly floated down onto that dark-sky paradise. I wondered if you wrapped in my arms was the beginning of something that sublime.

You were the witty but impassive one.

I remember when I heard your stomach rumble, and I made you ramen noodles with almost husband-like fashion. You had the face and virtuousness of a saint, from your eyes shined the light of a thousand murals, and I somehow could not help but want to make you happy.

You were the cheerful but thin-skinned one.

I remember when we would stay up in Davenport Library working on God-knows-what, spinning in our wheel-y chairs deliriously while taking pictures, or that one time when we went to Samurai for my birthday and you treated me to a platter of sushi so large, it took up the entire table. You treated me like a king, and I must say, I have yet to find someone who is willing to call me every morning to wake me up, even when he's in the Philippines and has to do it online over Skype.

You were the loyal but unhinged one.

I remember when we sat in Hermann Park that warm, summer night, curled up in a huge, stone, open-palmed sculpture. Every sentence out of our mouths was laced some subtle flirtation, and by the end of our park excursion, I was piggy-backed on you, and we were playfully pretending to be mad at one another, my legs squeezing your torso every time you said some particularly vicious remark.

You were the handsome but stone-souled one.

I remember too much, but of true love, partake too little.

****

In this piece, we were supposed to pick a slang we heard recently and write about it. I picked "hoe-ish" (yes, I know I write about sexual things too much, but when that's a large part of what you think about, what are you gonna do? ;D) I tried to write a professional sounding piece so it would clash with the crudeness of the word.

"Hoe-ish" -- the urban dweller's term for those of promiscuous behavior, or seemingly "loose" ethics. It can be a word laced with animosity, but mostly it is used to express subtle disdain at the improper or unacceptably sexual fashion choices or behaviors of others. "Hoe-ish" carries with it less momentum than if a girl were directly called a "whore", the "-ish" suffix "softening" the seemingly harsh word. Indeed, when compared to "whore," "hoe-ish" is rather innocuous. From the more proper but still urban English word "whore-ish", which Webster's would define as "of or like a whore", "hoe-ish" can be used in a variety of effective and appreciably scathing ways.

Example the first:

"Why is that girl's skirt so high you can see her tampon string? Man that girl be lookin' hoe-ish."

The implication here is that the girl appears to be exhibiting the visual characteristics of a prostitute, that is, she's attempting to attract the attention of men through clothing, or lack there of, so that she can sell them sex. For one who is not actually a prostitute, such a comparison is obviously unflattering.

Example the second:

"Look at Gina on da dance flo'. Just look at her! Every time I turn around she grindin' up on a different man. I warned her last night not to be so hoe-ish. Oh now she takin' off her bra. Dat is jus unacceptable."

Here, the meaning alters slightly, the disapproval stemming from her exhibiting overtly sexual behaviors. Gina's friend does not approve of her appearing to be copulating with every man on the dance floor, and neither the implication includes, does any other girl in the immediate vicinity. Gina taking off her bra merely compounds the situation and reinforces the idea that Gina is of "hoe-like" quality.

*****

This last entry is supposed to be an autobiograpical list with numbers ala Harper's Margazine lists or Yale Daily News lists. It's probably my favorite theme so far. It's ironic bc it's probably the least constructed piece I've ever written about myself but says more about me than any blog entry I could ever write.

Number of parental figures before 1993: 2

Number of parental figures after 1993: 1

Number of constant father figures in my life: 0

Number of girls I've bitten in elementary school because I thought her arm looked tender: 1

Number of times I've been sent to the principal's office in elementary school: 1

Number of times I've called a teacher ignorant for censoring me in the school newspaper: 1

Number of times I've made an obscene gesture towards said teacher: 1

Number of times I've been sent to the principal's office in high school: 2

Total number of hours I was berated by said teacher and principal: 5 ½

Total number of colleges I applied to in high school: 3

Number of Ivy League colleges I applied to: 2

Number of safety schools I applied to: 1

Number of safety schools that fell through because I submitted my application late: 1

Number of mirrors broken within the first month of freshman year of college: 3

Number of years I am promised bad luck: 0 - 21, depending on what you believe

Number of police incidents in Davenport since I have been at Yale: 3

Percentage of said police incidents that I was directly involved in: 66.6%

Percentage of said police incidents that I was not directly involved in but close friends were, and I was at the scene: 33.4%

Percentage of police incidents that were my fault: 0%

Number of classes at Yale that I was told as a freshman would be possible to fail: 0

Number of classes that I have failed: 1

Rate in which I've been called into the dean's since I've been at Yale: at least 1 time/semester

Number of days I wish I were somebody else: 0

its been a long time cummin

2006-08-07T21:42:00.000-04:00

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME CUMMING...er COMING.

roight...in my efforts to postpone my chinese work a little more (wo hen xihuan xue zhongwen keshi shi ge xingqi tai duo le! ;P), ive decided that the mood is right for a little mind run. today was a particularly introspective day -- i dunno y, but after being slaughtered today in my chinese oral exam, it set off a slightly defeated, self-introspective mood that helps in progressing my development as a decent person. harhar.

in no particularly order, the shit thats run through my head and life this last half year or so that i can still remember. pardon the complete and utter lack of organization of this comin schpiel of emotions.

last friday night, i was in one of those moods again. i was looking though my gigs of old pictures from this summer and last school year. seeing all the pictures n video clips was rather bittersweet, the sweet being my awesomely closeknit bunch of off the walll friends - we got 'da crew' as well as a handful of other of beauts who for the last two years have provided me with a shoulder of reason and have entertained and offered me advice on my various gay crushes and lustful infuations- the bitter being old flames.

im very grateful to have a group of friends that through thick and thin (and shit i mean through the thickest of times...*cough* *cops* *cough* *seeing the dean n master several times* *cough* *coprocentric affairs [mary]*) will still stick together. we may have our differences and our contentious moments (juan...and u too mary. u baboon.), but our love of uninhibited and tactless behaviors (and food!) have managed to keep us cohesive and help us grow (or fester? haha) as a group. honestly, i really wouldnt have it any other way. i truly think im more myself with these people than i am with any1 else. it really is a no holds barred, anything goes, nothing is off topic kinda atmosphere - it is this atmosphere of complete n utter freedom that i enjoy the most. were all lazy fucks, we screw around A LOT, and we burn lots of time doing stupid shit, but we all know we didnt get into yale by accident. i have more admiration for these guys than they realize (and prolly more than i show) but really, hanging out with them, laughing with them, and making memories with them has given me some of the best years of my life...i dont think ive ever met people like them who share such disregard for and intolerance of inhibition - sexually, socially, emotionally, and otherwise. were like hippies, but a helluva lot sharper and prolly more perverted.

i find that with almost everyone else, i do have to keep a side of myself under wraps (usually the gratuitiously sexual side...either that or my slightly twisted sense of humor side). socially, i understand that tact needs to be inevitably exercised but really sometimes it really is stifling. the fact that u do have to be careful around people because they cant handle/tolerate/think ill of you for expressing who you are is always irritating to me, but im fully aware that i cant swim against the tide of society. until then, ill chill in this lil eddy that is the time with mah crew.

ah old flames, u really cant ever forget them can u? ill leave this part short as im not one who likes to hash or rile up bad memories. well keep it positive (KIP yall. KIP.) karlo - looking through the many pictures this last year has reinforced the fact that despite the terribly trying times weve been through, ull always have a place in my heart. The picture of us wearing our rings during xmas break I will treasure forever. u were right. people like you only come along so many times in life. u treated me like a king -- u cared for me so much and put up so gracefully with all my little quirks, (odd) demands, and sometimes irrationally asinine behavior. im sorry. i love u and i miss u.

ah mike, the first boyfriend. i have to admit ur hard to forget. i have more thoughts of u than i should after two years. i wouldnt call it time well spent. the other night, i was lying on my bed listening to love songs (i do that from time to time...i like wallowing in my romantic side ;). i hadnt thought about it in a longgggg time as i do make a conscious effort to forget all memories concerning you, but i rather out of the blue remembered my last nite in town before i headed up to yale freshman year. it was when we were sitting in my room and my mom was berating me for not packing THE NIGHT BEFORE I WAS HEADING UP TO YALE. (yeah now that i i think about it, she had good reason to yell.) u decided to go and i agreed that it was probably best. we hugged for what seemed like forever in my driveway and kissed our last kisses. and as i walked back to my house and you to your car, i could feel the cascade of emotions well up. by the time i got up to my room, i laid on my bed and cried harder than i had ever cried in my life. i really cant describe why. you were a lot of my firsts, and i was so angry that you were so unfairly being taken away from me. so i called you 5 minutes after you left, sobbing my heart out because i couldnt bear the fact that u were leaving me. and what u did next still stays with me to this day...

you cried for me too.

i waited 18 years of my life for you...
alas, uve already closed the door and driven off...but im still here trying to say my goodbyes...im a tragic figure indeed...

*SIGH* damn...i really am not this wishy-washy all the time. haha, but i suppose i have my moments...ah this mysterious thing called love...surely it is more than just a series of chemical reactions in the brain. This emotion...its something im still grappling with...to love myself, to love others. That's the goal in life. Anything else just isn't worth living for. its cliche but i think it resonates truer than anything else in this life.

roight, time for the more awesomely kickass things in me loife. it is a good life indeed and these past few months have reminded me over and over again how lucky i have it.

Three words have defined my life these past several months: NEW YORK CITY!! Fuck yes...During my 10 weeks here at yale studying chinese, the best memories have revolved around this amazing city with mah crew. It really is the center of the world and we made it the center of debauchery.

MTVVVVVV bitches. Highlight of the summer was, hands down, going down to NYC and auditioning to become a news anchor/correspondent for MTV news. Roight--heres how that shit went down.

This was like 4 - 5 weeks ago, some random late night (I don't remember which), I was watching this show on mtv, fresh meat, that road rules / real world challenge show where all those old castmates compete n shit....so anyway, I saw this reeeally hot gay guy on the show so I was like fuck I have to look him up. Haha what can I say, im a sucker for a stud. While I was on the mtv website I started randomly browsing and I stumbled across this page advertising cast calls, one of them being for mtv news. I figured what the hey. Ill give it a shot, don't have anything to lose. All they asked for was a picture and a writing sample so I couldn't complain that it was too much work. I had both bases covered (and frankly if they asked for more, I prolly wouldn't have applied.) haha. Lazy indeed. I sent it in with this quirky email which I tried to use to exhibit my personality a bit. Throw in a lil coothness, a lil silliness, a joke here n there, told them they needed more (gay) asian men on the network. Tried to jazz it up a lil bit for mtv. Show them I wasn't a complete nerd. The subject line to the email was something like "THAT JOB AS MTV NEWS CORRESPONDENT IS MINE." I wanted to get their attention. ;]

I didn't think I'd get a response honestly, I figured id try but I heard it was notoriously hard to get into anything mtv from some of my friends who have applied for the real world. So like a week later, I get this random email from this rep in mtv casting who was like "hey, where are you currently?" and "do u have a resume?" I WAS COMPLETELY FLOORED and I have to say, it was a sense of accomplishment that I hadn't felt in a longgg time, granted it was a rather "easy" accomplishment in that I didn't really do much. Hah. Well I suppose I had to work on my writing skills all my life and they liked my sample so accomplishment there...? Right? RIGHT?! Anyway, I was stoked that they even responded to my entry and I promptly responded, telling them I was at yale and that I was a mere hour long train ride away from where they were. As for the resume, I told them that I wouldn't hesitate to make one for them if needed.

After a week of no response, I assumed they had gotten a ton of other entries and figured they had forgotten about me. A bit disheartening but I was proud to have even gotten communicae from mtv, that huge corporate monster that it is. So about a week later, I had jus come home from the gym and lo n behold, ANOTHER email from mtv. This shit was getting ridiculous. I didn't see it comin but apparently, for some reason I have yet to fathom, mtv wanted me to come down to their studios in times square the next week and audition for them. At this point, I was past holy shit. Everything about this experience was absolutely riveting. it was such an unrivaled opportunity and i loved it. It was an amazing feeling and one which im lucky to say I got to share with a lot of loved ones -- friends, siblings, and even my mom! (who rather predictably as an asian mother wasn't so riveted about mtv and instead chose to lecture me on not dropping out of school. I wuv her. ;)

So I spent the next week working on my resume (in actuality, I didn't start working on it till two days before I had to head down to nyc...even for this, I cant help but procrastinate...I dunno wtf is wrong with me)...after a long night and a half, as well as a critique session as ucs, I had a go on my resume, went n bought nice resume paper (I didn't even know there was such a thing), and proceeded to make a nice lil package to give to mtv. It was real cute...nice n classy. Teehee.

The thing I was most apprehensive about though was the fact that their like 3 sentence emails didn't give me a clue as to what to expect. I was frantically searching the internet for keywords like "mtv news audition" and "audition tips" but honestly, I didn't find shit and nothing was really all that helpful. I even went onto youtube and looked up videos of suchin pak jus to see what kind of stuff they wanted. Didn't really help...I ended up goin down to nyc with the jitteriest of nerves. O man u shoulda seen me in Chinese class a couple of hours before I was about to head down. I was spazzin OUT, a little unhinged if i do say so mahself. I was like pissed off about my hair bc it was too damn long to style (I jus wore a cap and then when I got to mtv, took it off so I got this cute flattened shaggy hair look...it turned out pretty well) and I wasn't too sure about my outfit. For some reason, they said I shouldn't wear white, and the outfit I had planned out DID have white so I had to make a substitute, and well I liked the look but it coulda been better. I went with my nice, tight boot cut/flare dark jeans, with a light blue button down collar shirt under a black tight spandex shirt, and sneakers. Figure I go for the classy prep with an edge look. After all, they say with tv, appearance is everything.

Then on top of worries about visuals, we had the fact that I, in the last week I had until my auditions, failed to prepare for jackness. I figured id wing it...every1 tol me to be myself in my audition and I figured this was the best way to do it. The only prep session I planned (outside of staring into a mirror and uttering things like "this is will nguyen and im your new mtv news correspondent" with the cheesiest of dimpled smiles and a bewildered look here and there, eyes darting back n forth) was supposed to be during the train ride to the city. Instead, I ended up falling asleep. (Ah sleep, u really will be the end of me.) I was planning on taking a spiral out and giving myself a pump up session where id write motivational things about myself, what I was proud of, what I loved about myself, my strengths, my shortcomings...anything that would help me be in full realization of myself. I wanted to come across as someone who knew himself well, who had confidence in his words. needless to say, it didn't materialize as I had planned and I ended up soothing myself with words as I walked from grand central to the studios in the middle of times square. Luckily, the sleep had calmed down my nerves quite a bit and for some reason, I became quite content. I had gotten this far, I was in nyc preparing to audition, and I couldn't be prouder. i figured even if I bombed this audition, I had accomplished something very few people in this country could say they did, and that was enough to save me from the brute force that could be rejection.

O and it also helped that I was being a little superstitious. Im normally not very into that shit (its all in the mind I say) but dammit I was hanging on any bit of hope that I could get my hands on. During the 2 weeks between my first email from mtv and the audition, I had ladybugs repeatedly fly into my room and land somewhere near me. Once right before the first email, once right before the second email, and then a day or two before the audition, a third ladybug flew in. I was convinced it was a sign! I would indeed succeed in life! Haha. I doublechecked online that indeed ladybugs were usually a sign of good luck so I went down to the city knowing that I had the (imagined) blessings of good luck from the animal kingdom. It helped a bit. ;D

Roight imma stop here for now seeing as how ive been typing for da last three hours. (but dammit i could type for pages on end! i havent even scratched the surface of this summer...more tried and true tales of ridiculousness, especially with "da crew" to come.) No worries yall. Willy ai ni!

awww skeez skeez skeez mothafuckaaaa IIIIIIIID ~ ~ ~ . i love it. i love it.

2006-04-09T22:36:00.000-04:00

When two high school perverts get together:

SuperPaigey: what up negro
v Ie T G u Y1028: yo yo yo
v Ie T G u Y1028: jus woke up [itz 4 pm]
v Ie T G u Y1028: thats what
SuperPaigey: LOL
SuperPaigey: nice
SuperPaigey: whats new pussy face?
v Ie T G u Y1028: i had a dream that i was a janitor at this kfc or fried chicken joint
v Ie T G u Y1028: and i had jus finished laboring over scrubbing the toilet clean
SuperPaigey: lol!!!
v Ie T G u Y1028: so i took a break with my friend
SuperPaigey: yeah
v Ie T G u Y1028: and we chatted
v Ie T G u Y1028: and stood inside the restaurant
v Ie T G u Y1028: and for some reason
v Ie T G u Y1028: theres a clear panel window like structure
v Ie T G u Y1028: in the bathroom
SuperPaigey: yeah
v Ie T G u Y1028: behind the toilet
v Ie T G u Y1028: so u could see who goes in and out
SuperPaigey: yeah
v Ie T G u Y1028: and so im sittin there chatting
v Ie T G u Y1028: bitching about how i hate cleaning bathrooms
v Ie T G u Y1028: and how im gonna go home soon
v Ie T G u Y1028: cuz the next worker jus came in
v Ie T G u Y1028: when this white woman rushes into the restroom
v Ie T G u Y1028: we watch her as she quickly drops her panties
SuperPaigey: LOL okay.
v Ie T G u Y1028: and as soon as she sits on the perfectly white t oilet
v Ie T G u Y1028: brown diahretic SHIT splatters EVERYWHERE
SuperPaigey: lmO
SuperPaigey: lmao
SuperPaigey: omg
SuperPaigey: william
v Ie T G u Y1028: WASTING MY TWO HOURS OF LABOR
v Ie T G u Y1028: hahaha
SuperPaigey: thats fucking disgusting
v Ie T G u Y1028: my jaw jus DROPS
v Ie T G u Y1028: and i remember specks of it all over the toilet seat where her legs werent
v Ie T G u Y1028: all over the inside of the bowl
SuperPaigey: omg
SuperPaigey: thats so gross
v Ie T G u Y1028: and then i woke up
v Ie T G u Y1028: HAHAHAHA
SuperPaigey: lmao
SuperPaigey: so freakin gross/random
SuperPaigey: only you
v Ie T G u Y1028: hahaha i know
v Ie T G u Y1028: i was like wtf
v Ie T G u Y1028: it was such a comedic scene though
SuperPaigey: lol
SuperPaigey: thats so funny
v Ie T G u Y1028: indeed
v Ie T G u Y1028: i had some hilarious dreams
v Ie T G u Y1028: and i think this stems from the fact that my friend me last nite she was into scat
SuperPaigey: your life seems pretty entertaining
SuperPaigey: no way
v Ie T G u Y1028: and when i asked her if she was serious
SuperPaigey: nuh uh
v Ie T G u Y1028: she was like a little
v Ie T G u Y1028: hahahahaha
SuperPaigey: EWWW
SuperPaigey: thats freakin disgusting
v Ie T G u Y1028: i KNOW
v Ie T G u Y1028: lol
SuperPaigey: thats not hot
v Ie T G u Y1028: no it isnt
v Ie T G u Y1028: and shes a rotund black girl [Mary Daniel]
v Ie T G u Y1028: hahaha
SuperPaigey: oh no
v Ie T G u Y1028: but shes hilarious as fuck
v Ie T G u Y1028: ok so not rotund
SuperPaigey: freakin gross
SuperPaigey: hahahaha
SuperPaigey: lol
v Ie T G u Y1028: shes an average weight
SuperPaigey: oh
SuperPaigey: it woulda been funnier if she was fat
SuperPaigey: not gonna lie
v Ie T G u Y1028: lol
v Ie T G u Y1028: yeah
SuperPaigey: omg i got my vagina waxed
SuperPaigey: completely
SuperPaigey: by this scary old lady
SuperPaigey: just thought you would like to know
v Ie T G u Y1028: LOL
v Ie T G u Y1028: brazilian eh?
v Ie T G u Y1028: hows it feel
SuperPaigey: hahahah YES
v Ie T G u Y1028: fresh?
SuperPaigey: well its amazing now
v Ie T G u Y1028: labialicious?
SuperPaigey: but at the time
SuperPaigey: exactly
SuperPaigey: i was curious, the boyfriend likes, its a work of art
SuperPaigey: so i think im going to continue doing it
v Ie T G u Y1028: lol
v Ie T G u Y1028: nice
v Ie T G u Y1028: he likes teen pink huh
SuperPaigey: lol WHAT?
v Ie T G u Y1028: he likes that pinkness
v Ie T G u Y1028: u know without the hair
v Ie T G u Y1028: haha
SuperPaigey: hahahahaha yeah
SuperPaigey: hahahahahaha soo graphic
SuperPaigey: hahahahahah im laughing
v Ie T G u Y1028: haha i cant believe uve never heard of that term
SuperPaigey: im sure i have
SuperPaigey: there were a couple moments where i coulda sworn the scary old lady was gonna go down on me
SuperPaigey: i wanted to cry
v Ie T G u Y1028: LOL
SuperPaigey: I KNOW
v Ie T G u Y1028: hahahaha felt a tongue flicker here n there
v Ie T G u Y1028: haha
SuperPaigey: LOLOLOLOL
SuperPaigey: so gross
SuperPaigey: okay im going to read a book
v Ie T G u Y1028: lol
SuperPaigey: ttyl fool
v Ie T G u Y1028: this convo is going in my blog
v Ie T G u Y1028: u realize this
v Ie T G u Y1028: hahahaha
SuperPaigey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2006-03-27T03:16:00.000-05:00

2006-03-23T00:10:00.000-05:00

HOLY FUCKIN CRAP.

So my suitemate Teddy just told me he heard someone playing A-Ha's "Take On Me (Bodacious Mix)" reeeeally loudly outside a LDub window!!!!!!!!!!! Presumably it was for a party...and some kinda fuckin party I would imagine! Hahaaaaa -- fuck that song is like my favorite song of all time....just listening to it totally makes me cream my pants...no joke.

Memorable quotes from a late night pit stop at Ivy tonight:

on a certain treacherous fellow:
me: "u know he's so two-faced."
mary: "yeah, and BOTH faces are ugly."

on Juan's upcoming b-day party:
mary: "We'd better have DUH on speed dial."

on abortion and bush:
me: u know mary, they should put u on a pro-choice button...u know to show people what they could possibly prevent.
mary: bush is the poster child for prochoice; there are posters out there with his face saying that barbara bush shouldve gotten an abortion.

2006-03-19T21:18:00.000-05:00

TALKING TO A MESICAN ABOUT A CRAZY ASS MESICAN.

v Ie T G u Y1028: OMFG
v Ie T G u Y1028: I MEANT TO TELL U
XeroEeva: what?
XeroEeva: ..
v Ie T G u Y1028: THIS AFTERNOON WHEN I WAS TRYING TO GO TO BED
v Ie T G u Y1028: THIS CRAZY MESICAN GUY KEPT CALLING MY PHONE ASKING ME WHO IT WAS
XeroEeva: LOL
XeroEeva: haha
v Ie T G u Y1028: CUZ APPARENTLY SOMEONE FROM MY NUMBER
XeroEeva: didn't that happen before?
v Ie T G u Y1028: IS SENDING HIS WIFE TEXTS AND CALLING HER
XeroEeva: WHAT
v Ie T G u Y1028: HER NAME IS ROSA APPARENTLY
XeroEeva: with your number?
XeroEeva: how is that possible?
XeroEeva: hahaha
v Ie T G u Y1028: HE KEPT TELLING ME THAT I WAS SPLITTING HIS FAMILY UP
XeroEeva: omggg
XeroEeva: HAHAHAHA
v Ie T G u Y1028: AND THAT HED "GET ME"
XeroEeva: OMG
v Ie T G u Y1028: THAT ID BETTER WATCH MY BACK
XeroEeva: omg
XeroEeva: it's gotta be a prank
v Ie T G u Y1028: I WAS KINDA SCARED
XeroEeva: no way
XeroEeva: lol
v Ie T G u Y1028: NO THIS GUY WAS DEAD SERIOUS
XeroEeva: ..
Ie T G u Y1028: HE WAS SOOO PISSED TOO
XeroEeva: who is using your number?!
v Ie T G u Y1028: AND I KEPT SAYING I HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT
vIe T G u Y1028: I KNOW!
v Ie T G u Y1028: I DONT KNOW!
XeroEeva: that's so creepy!
XeroEeva: call your service provider
v Ie T G u Y1028: HE WAS SOOO ANGRY!
XeroEeva: and be like.. yo bitches this aint coo
v Ie T G u Y1028: i told hiom i was a gay college student
XeroEeva: LOL
XeroEeva: HAHAA
v Ie T G u Y1028: but he didnt sound like he believed me
v Ie T G u Y1028: lol
XeroEeva: did that work?
XeroEeva: haha
v Ie T G u Y1028: he was like "uh huh
XeroEeva: opmgg
v Ie T G u Y1028: no it didnt work
XeroEeva: that's soooo funny
XeroEeva: where is he from?
XeroEeva: texas?
XeroEeva: or... new haven!?
XeroEeva: haha
v Ie T G u Y1028: houston
v Ie T G u Y1028: so thank god im here
v Ie T G u Y1028: but still
v Ie T G u Y1028: eesh creepy as hell
v Ie T G u Y1028: i mean i was laughing at the time bc it was so ridiculous
XeroEeva: haha
XeroEeva: yeah it is
XeroEeva: wow
v Ie T G u Y1028: and i tol them some people have machines that can disguise their numbers using other numbers
v Ie T G u Y1028: and he called "bullshit"
v Ie T G u Y1028: lol
v Ie T G u Y1028: but itz so tru!
Ie T G u Y1028: he did call me like 7 times though
v Ie T G u Y1028: first 3 times i didnt pick up
v Ie T G u Y1028: then i picked up and talked to him the rest of the time
v Ie T G u Y1028: he was um crazy
XeroEeva: o.O
XeroEeva: what are you doing this summer
XeroEeva: dont' go back homee
XeroEeva: lol

***OOOO BTW, COMMENTS WORK AGAIN! (for those 2 people who read my blog....hey willy cares about ya! ^_~). Mad props to a one Joanna Won for redesigning my page n makin it look all purrty. I WUV OOOO JOOOO! Can't wait to hit SoBe with you again!

VIET POP FUCKS ME O SO GOOD.

2006-02-21T21:53:00.000-05:00

VIET POP FUCKS ME O SO GOOD.

OMGUHhh -- this viet musik video (ab0ve) has become my new obsessive song. itz so damn catchy. modern viet pop is movin on up....haha. the dichotomy of good girl / bad girl is adorable and bao han and nhu loan are o so fuckable. check out the main guy in leather -- hes so hot but his hips r a bit SWISHY if u know what i mean....ill work him over yet., ^_~

this one (bel0w) is awesome too... more traditional and o so purrrrty. me rikey a rot. loan chau in pink = ridick gorgeous.

Getting my prostate massaged and me.

2006-02-12T05:23:00.000-05:00

Getting my prostate massaged and me.

BEST. ORGASM. EVER.

christian freakout bitch on trading spouses...best shit ever.

2006-02-05T02:55:00.000-05:00

christian freakout bitch on trading spouses...best shit ever.

(i know this shit's relatively old but i saw a repost of it on a website and i couldnt stop laughing, so here she is in her full glory)

*"She's not a christiaaaahhhhhhnn-aaahh!"
"She's tamperin' in dark-sided stuff!" ("She's tamperin' in dork-sided stuff"!)
"The entire house... is dark-sided!" (Referring to Jeanne's House)
"She is darksided too-aaahhh!"
"I want no money. I want nothing. I want my God and I want my family..."
"Gargoyles! Psychics!" ("Gorgyles! Slykicks!")
"Everything's ungodly! Dark-sided!"
"I'm a God warrior!"
"Get the hell out of my house!! In Jesus' name I pray!" (Yelled at Fox camera crew)
"...Because I was leavin', I was leavin', I took the ear sets off and said fry--FLY me home."
"We had a party, a Solstice party!?" (Pronounced SOLSTICE without the s at the end making it "SOLSTICK")
"Yes, because it's only about the moon and thae gods and the this, and the that!"
(Daughter Speaking) "Jeanie was not like that" (Marguerite) "HER NAME IS JADE, I went to her station, I went to her station"
"Her kids don't go to church or believe in God!"
"You did come to ma' mind"
Marguerite: Tarot cards and astrology, and witch books, and, and..."
Daughter: "We had none of that here"
Marguerite: "...you know why? 'Cause I'm the warrior: I ask ALL the questions."
"Take ya' money, take whatever ya' got and get out of my house, in jesus name...IN JESUS NAME I PRAY!"
"I speak that into existence, every one of them. I've planted that seed and I will see the harvest!"
"Every dark-sided person get out of my house. If you believe in Jesus you can stay here. Don't... stay in my house, if you're dark-sided."
"I rebuke it in the name of the Lord!"
"I'm the one that's the warrior. Why can't you be the warrior?"
(Makes hand motions forming a star and being sarcastic) "Then they had this, this wonderful star thing, okay?"
"And theres BUDDAH and the BUDDAH FLAG!"
"I was thrown in the pits, THROWN IN THE PITS!"
" Your couldn't even walk up the front door without the Buddah flag..."
"Mother of God, I felt dark."

FUCKKK ME RUNNING.

2006-02-03T15:15:00.000-05:00

FUCKKK ME RUNNING.

God. I'm trying so hard. I'm so exhausted all the time. My sleep schedule is ALL fucked up. Between 3 classes everyday, work 3 - 5 hours everyday, ungodly amounts of problem sets and homework due every week, and a few EC activities on the side, I'm fading faster than a fat man on a treadmill....Just want to get away from it all sometimes. Feel like I don't have enough time for myself anymore... And this shit just keeps on coming. Can feel myself slowly burning out....but I can't give up...can't do that to myself...gotta get a grip...gotta help myself up...gotta stand on my own two feet...gotta prove myself to...myself.

For some reason, this phrase makes me quite happy:

2006-02-03T07:41:00.000-05:00

For some reason, this phrase makes me quite happy:

LIQUID SUNSHINE.

Mmm TAKE IT ALL BITCH. TAKE IT ALL.

2006-01-21T05:24:00.000-05:00

Mmm TAKE IT ALL BITCH. TAKE IT ALL.

Random quotes n shit from winter break.

2006-01-17T01:27:00.001-05:00

Random quotes n shit from winter break.

This 40 year old man hitting on me at South Beach (a gay club):
Guy: (noticing that i was wearing a wristband that indicates im under 21) How far under 21 are you?
Me: (jokingly) I'm FIFTEEN!
Guy: (in this seductive voice) Just the way i like em....

Me driving and karlo (who stayed with me for xmas break) making an observation:
"Hey look at that whale on a motorcycle next to us!"
We both proceeded to laugh our asses off bc the motorcycle looked like it was being swallowed up by this man's ASS. the size comparison was ridiculous. OMFG we whipped out my camera and karlo even took a pix - it was fucking priceless. but then my lil brother had to fuck with the camera and DELETED THE PIX. needless to say, i was upset for the rest of the day.

Karlo and I went to one of my friend's houses to chill one nite. We had a few drinks, pigged out, played drunken noisy trivial pursuit. Karlo on a bunch of prude Asians playing strip spoon: "The game ends when the sweaters come off."

my (ridiculously fuckin smart) 4-year old neice on my silly antics while playing with her:
me: (pretending to trip and fall dramatically onto this beanbag chair while making as much noise as possible. then pretending to be dead) "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH O NOOOOO." *PLOP*
jadelynn: (in the most condescending tone a 4 year old can pull). "YEE (my viet name). YEEE! its ONLY a bean bag..."
with my face planted deeply in a bean bag chair, i realize ive just been told off by a 4 year old. how embarassing.

another funny memory. my neice was opening up gifts and she received this build-a-bear stuffed animal that she already had. the look on her face though was priceless. it was a genuine mix of disgust and "what the FUCK is this BULLSHIT."

more random pix n shit to come when i load em up.

Number of people that have walked in on me having sex in the last month:

2005-12-31T17:50:00.000-05:00

Number of people that have walked in on me having sex in the last month:

THREE.

My friend.
My roommate.
My sister.

The trouble with selling shit on craigslist

2005-11-06T02:06:00.000-05:00

The trouble with selling shit on craigslist

so i listed my 20 gb ipod on craigslist to sell in order to get money towards buying a new video ipod (for porn - naturally). the thing with craigslist is it's full of scammers trying to get products or payment from u without ever fulfilling their end of the bargain. i happen to be lucky and stumble upon one of these assholes. heres how our email conversation went:

HIM:
Quoting chad boyer <chad_boyer@akron.usa.com>:
Good day seller,'
How was business? well i saw your item displayed on theadvert list {craigslist} and am interested in buying it but i wouldlike to know if the item is still available. i have seen the conditionof the item and am really intersted in it. so get back to me asap toproceed with the payment........Regards,

ME:
hi,
yes the item is still available. would you like to purchase it? if so, where would u like to meet?

HIM:
Thanks for your mail,i will be sending the payment in western union money order through bidpay online,and after payment went through you will have to receive a confirmation mail from bidpay about the payment sent, once i receive the confirmation mail here too, i will like to offer you a fedex pre-paid shipping slip which i have registered with fedex courier service and note that upon the slip pasted there is no shipping cost for you, and i will want to know how much you will sell the item. Waiting for your quick response, and hope to have some other business with you in nearest future.thanking you in anticipation, if it is ok by you get back to me on time, and send me your full informationname and address so i can continue with the transaction okay. Hope to hear from you soon..Thanks,

ME:
whats your name again? why is your english so bad?

HIM:
Hello are you ready to sell your item to me or you are abuse me,pls if you are ready to transact with me kindly give me your full info name and address to i will forwards it to my banks know as bidpay western union money order. for your payment abd as soon they confirmu your payment bidpay will send the payment confirmation to you that your payment as been approved. thankschad.

ME:
dear sir or madam,
[i inserted this information straight from a page warning people about scams on craigslist]

Recognizing scams
Most scams meet involve one or more of the following:long-distance buyer or seller, offer includes a cashier's check, postal money order, Western Union, or escrowservice (BidPay, Squaretrade, etc.), and refusal to meet face-to-face.

sincerely,
fuck u.

p.s. learn better english before u pull scams on people who can fully speak english.

James Choe thinks I wear girls' panties.

2005-10-30T19:55:00.000-05:00

James Choe thinks I wear girls' panties.

So Saturday nite, I went down to toss my last load of laundry from the washer to the dryer. I ran into James down there and we exchanged a few words about what our Saturday nite plans were. As I was talking, i was moving my clothes from the washer to the dryer. We were havin a merry ol time chattin when all of a sudden, from the bottom of my armful of wet clothes, drops A PAIR OF PINK GIRLS' PANTIES. I was disgusted (by the fact that some girl's dirty period/pubic hair soaked panties had been washed with my clothes) and James was flabbergasted, eyes darting nervously back n forth, because HE (im pretty sure) THOUGHT THEY WERE MINE. While I am indeed a homosexual and do occasionally wear girl's khakis (bc they flare and they give me a nice round ass), I DO NOT, i reemphasize DO NOT, wear girl's panties. lol. I am NOT THAT gay. end of story. The pink panties I assume are still lying on the dport laundry room floor.

Beer and Geology Majors

2005-10-27T18:36:00.000-04:00

Beer and Geology Majors

So yesterday, I was scheduled to go to this meeting at 530 for all geology majors at Yale up at the kline geology building. They advertised free drinks and pizza (i.e. I couldn't possibly miss this event). Since i was at work from 2, i was already there when 530 rolled around, so when it was time, i figured i would just go down three flights of stairs and id have massive amounts of pizza and soda sitting in the main common area.

Sounds simple rite? Yeah.... but somehow i managed to miss the train on this one too...

around 5:30 my lab friend jennifer and i headed down the stairs, frantically sniffing for the scent of free pizza...we were riveted until we hit the first floor.... and saw that there there wuz no pizza in sight...we smelt it, but i didnt see it anywhere...i realized i had made the mistake of sprinting down the stairs without knowing exactly WHERE THE EVENT WAS BEING HELD. I mean the email said kline geology lab but i kinda skimmed over the room number n such...lol. BUT the fact is, we SMELT pizza...it had to be close...so we began rummagin around, looking in random classrooms n such...we stumbled upon this big auditorium-like room with a buncha people hangin around...just standing there chattin it up...i figured this had to be it...so we wandered in...i didnt recognize anyone in there - i figured it was bc i never really met any other geology majors...but i did notice that every1 looked slightly older than i did...prolly upperclassmen i thought...the professors looked really congenial...they smiled at us...and then one of them OFFERED ME A BEER.

"feel free to grab urselves a cold one!" he said.

me and jennifer were like "what the fuk..."

i remember wondering what the hell was going on... dont they realize i was prolly underage? faculty drinking? offering alcohol to students at a school function? i was blown away... it pretty dang kool. so i slowly slid over to the ice bin...but i didnt feel like gettin tipsy while on the clock so i just grabbed a sparkling blackberry juice drink...newman's own...pretty good stuff i think...heehee...so anyway...after loitering for a few minutes, eyes darting back n forth for pizza, we came to the conclusion that there was none there...either every1 had ate it all or it hadnt come yet...we sided with the latter seeing as how no one had plates or napkins and no one was really eating....so we decided to go...i had to go make another injection in the lab anyway....

on our way out, jennifer mentioned that she just saw a lady carrying pizza into another room SO we (naturally) decided to follow her...she led us to a really fancy sitting room and DING DING DING yippeeeeeeeeee the FREE PIZZZZZA! but the soda was this weird ass like mexican brand...it was "cola flavored drink"...i decided i was NOT gonna touch that shit. pizza and blackberry juice was good enough for me...i sat there n inhaled around 4 - 5 slices of delicious sausage pizza and listened to people chat about improvements to the geology major...i of course didnt really say anything bc for 1) i was an inexperienced sophomore who had yet to take a geology course and 2) i was too busy stuffing my face. yup. it wuz most good. MOST good. actually the pizza coulda been better...a lil dry n kinda (really) burnt on the bottom. but hey i was hungry, so i chilled...didnt spazz over it(this time.)...jus had to fill the ol tummy with chum.

oh speaking of spazz, new word --> massive spazz = mazz

someone responded to the evolution quote i left on the desk in my math 120 class....it went like this...(in atrocious handwriting)

"whats your point?
you were trained to eat with a knife and fork
are you superhuman?
I don't think so."

i quickly etched into the table this response:

"it was a quote from the daily show mocking those who didnt believe in evolution...so chill your APE TITS."

...fackin self-righteous, indignant clod.

What I graffitied on a desk in math 120

2005-10-19T03:20:00.000-04:00

What I graffitied on a desk in math 120

"Do you know what they're teaching kids in schools? That we descended from apes....APES! I eat with a knife and fork. MONKEYS do not eat with knives and forks....unless they're specially trained....those are supermonkeys...."

-Samantha Bee from The Daily Show

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_daily_show/videos/samantha_bee/index.jhtml?start=1

*Click on Stars and Strife....abso-FUCKING-lutely hilarious. Raging Bully, Public Enemy Number One, and Born Near the USA will make you wet ur pants too.

and then under that is a pretty lil flower....teehee.

My life didn't flash before my eyes.

2005-10-14T17:40:00.000-04:00

My life didn't flash before my eyes.

So yesterday i almost died. seriously. like i was walking up science hill and as i was crossing the street to go up to s.o.m. a car was literally 2 inches away from colliding with me. the light was red when i crossed the street so i had the right of way but apparently it mustve changed to green when i was in the middle of the street cuz as i was walking, i noticed a car barrelling towards me. i didnt think too much of it and jus kept my pace bc i figured itd slow down for a PEDESTRIAN. but he didnt....until he was ABOUT TO FUCKING HIT ME. he slammed on the brakes and skidded in the rain, stopping about 2 inches away from me. by then i had started power walking to the other side. lol. i didnt run. i power walked. i dont know what the hell wuz wrong with me. i guess i was still in shock that this fucking buffoon didnt slow down for someone crossing the street. i turned around in time to see the driver throw up his hands and punch the steering wheel...fucking idiot. so then i went about my way and walked up to s.o.m... bc well... i was hungry.

o random childhood memory...i was at work the other day and i started laughing to myself bc i remembered this lil event...in 2nd grade, i was introduced to the concept of similes...right before recess, we were told to think of a simile during our time outside and recite it to the class afterwards...i think i had jus read a book on animals or seen something on pbs because the simile i formed was "im as horny as a horned toad." lol. no im not referring to my libido...my innocent second grade mind actually meant "covered in horns." i told my best friend at the time - armen- and he just straight up told me i couldnt use my example bc it was a "bad word"...so i listened. lol thank god. i woulda had a lot of trouble 'splainin that one to me teacher...itz kinda ironic now that i think about it...who knew that when i came up with that simile in 2nd grade that id grow up to be a blunt, crude, sexually deviant, penis-centric, porn-loving, homosexual pervert?

Tales of an accidental driver

2005-10-09T20:45:00.000-04:00

Tales of an accidental driver

So friday, Visa (the viet organization at Yale) went down to Columbia to do a fashion show modeling ao dai's for this viet cultural event. it was superbly fun! a bunch of viet students came from a handful schools around new england to the event to showcase various aspects of vietnamese culture...hmm...now that i think about it, the only schools i remember there were us, harvard n columbia...ah columbia...showed up with like a measly 3 kids even though the event was AT THEIR SCHOOL. lol.

anyway, we rented this car to drive a bunch of us down to Columbia -- it was a huge car, a cross between like an suv and a van...it was hot shit, had like 3 rows of seats, and we fit (pretty illegally, im sure) like 10 or 11 of us in there. yours truly was at the wheel! im sure they werent aware of the fact that i never took a driving test in my life and got sent my license by mistake when they made the decision to let me drive...but hey! thats not to say im a bad driver...ive only gotten one ticket ever in my life and that was this summer...ive been pulled over two other times but i talked my way out of those...they make for pretty amusing stories actually...

so like sometime spring of my senior year like 2 months after i got my license, i was over at a friends house...he lived like across town and i had jacked my mom's car late at nite to drive it over there. i ended up falling asleep at his house and didnt wake up till like 4 am. so im across town at 4 am, leaving my friends house, and about to get on the onramp to the highway when i looked down to get something...cd's or something or other...when i looked back up my car was halfway in the grass on the side of the feeder road! i was like oly fuck. it was quite possibly the worst grassy space i could driven into with my car. there were jagged rocks and wild lookin plants, trenches all up in this shit grass space. when i finally regained control of the car and swerved back onto the feeder road, yay god hates me -- I HAVE A FUCKING FLAT TIRE. at 4 am. on the other side of town. and no one knows where i am. I pull over into this dark driveway in a fucking panic and like about to start sobbing bc i didnt know who to call at that hour...and well im gay, i dunno the fuck about cars...i didnt think it could get any worse when "o fucking great" a cop pulls up next to me...i thought i was gonna get my ass grilled for reckless driving... but THANK GOD, he offered to fix my flat...i was like friggin ecstaticccc. so this nice cop fixes my flat, changes the tires, fixes everything for me, and never once batted an eye at me for taking up his time...he wuz frikin awesome...
so anyway, 2 wks later, im in the same area, drivin home after i had jus caught dinner n a movie... i was like in fits of laughter the entire ride bc me and me friend were discussing movie ideas (we were gonna make this random ass movie and call it "shit happens." we thought it wuz an accurate enough title). bc we were laughing so hard, i wasnt aware that i was speeding down a residential road -- like 60 in a neighborhood...my bad...anyway i get friggin pulled over and was about to like wet myself (cops scare me) when lo n behold, it was the saaame cop who fixed my tire at 4 in the morning two wks ago! after a bit of pleading n apologizing i decided to play the kool card and point out the fact that he was the cop who fixed my car 2 wks ago...luckily it WORKED(!) bc we both jus ended up laughing about it, he tol me to slow it down and take it easy, smiled and went about his way...no tix for me, no warning, no nothing...it wuz suhweeee...needless to say, i wuz pretty dang thrilled the rest of the nite bc i had connections with a cop. harhar

the second time i got pulled over, it was a random, madeup, impromptu story that saved my ass. again it was like 330 am and i was hauling ass down the highway bc well, no one else was on it. i figured it wuz the one time i could drive fast. unfortunately in this unlit area of the highway shoulder sat a cop car, and by the time i sped past it and noticed it was a cop car, i wuz frantically trying to slam on the breaks to make it look like i wasnt really going that fast (lol.) it didnt work. i got pulled over anyway. so once again, im shivering bc im so nervous. cop approaches my car, asks me where im going... in my desperate attempt to think fast to try n get out of this ticket , i quickly muttered something about my curfew being 4 am (which was bullshit -- who has a fucking curfew at 4 am anyway...lol i mean if someones gonna be allowed out till 4 am, y have a curfew at all?) and that i was trying to get home as fast as i could bc my mom needed the car at 5 am to go to work (which was also bullshit). so he asks me where i live - me n my idiocy said in a rather cheerful and happy voice (happy bc i thought at the time that i had pulled such a good story out of my ass) "o not too far, just five minutes away" (which is tru, but now that i think about it, incredibly stupid to say bc it was only 3:30 and well i had 30 min to get home before my curfew, y the hell would i need to b speeding when i was five min away from home?) How the crap my story worked i dunno, but i ended up jus going home that nite with a verbal warning to slow down...man i wuz so fucking proud of myself for working the system again...lol.

ah yes...the adventurers of bad driver and bad liar willay...

alritey, well i would continue the story of the nyc trip but itz almost 9 pm on a sunday nite and i have shitloads of hw to do so more on that later...tchaooo all

Just got back from the psychology section in the bookstore...

2005-10-06T20:09:00.000-04:00

Just got back from the psychology section in the bookstore...

Let'z play "What psychoses does Willay have?"

a) Irritable male syndrome (I'm a TEXTBOOK CASE of this...no joke- ask Karlo...we looked at this textbook in the bookstore and i literally have satisfied each and every requirement for this psychosis...even the quotes and actions that characterize people with ims , ive said WORD FOR WORD and done EXACTLY AS THEY DESCRIBED IT before...ALL THE FUCKING TIME. o dear.)
b) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (Also, a textbook case for this-ask ANYONE who knows about me and my obsession with antibacterial soaps, lotions and wipes, staying clean and healthy, never touching door handles, toilet seats, anything PUBLIC, etc., etc., etc.)
c) Hypochondria (How the fuck can you even tell?)
d) All of the above (Self-explanatory)

There may only be one correct answer, more than one correct answer, on no correct answer at all. Confused? So am i.

I CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP. Ah...the comedy that is life.

2005-10-03T02:18:00.000-04:00

I CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP. Ah...the comedy that is life.

lol. i really dunno how this shit happens to me...but it sure does make life that much more hilarious.

alrite so this lil incident went down last thursday (and i still laugh about it now when i think about it). i was in the kline geology building around 2 pm, just coming in for work as a research assistant. i walked up three flights of stairs to the lab where i work, but when i got there, i noticed a "wet floor" sign on the door... it was rainy that day so i figured the roof was leaking again. there was no one inside the lab and the door was locked, so i decided to go down to my supervisor's office to check n c if he was there so he could tell me whats up with work. I went down there n no one was there, so i knocked on a couple of grad students' doors that i knew there and again, not a single person was around...after around 20 - 30 min of searching with no luck, i figured, hey NO WORK! hooo-ray. heres where it gets "fun."

on the first floor of the geology building is this huge private LOCKABLE restroom (u know the one specifically for handicapped peoplez but every1 uses anyway). ok, so with me jus being "let off" of work early, i reasoned that i had plenty of time to burn. i began to ponder on the way down the stairs whether i should use this extra leisure time to relieve myself. i mean, the bathroom was on the way down and well, i figured if i wanted to use the restroom, i should do it now, in the delicious privacy of a handicapped restroom. alrite, so with me being the primitive person i am, i opted to obey my more basic instincts and use the first floor restroom. little did i know, this would turn out to be one ridiculously HUGE mistake. so i casually strolled into the restoom, turning around and checking the lock to make sure the door was securely closed. after a lil jiggling and pushing of the door handle, i concluded that it was. so i proceeded to sit down on the bowl n drop off the kids at the pool. im sittin there for a good 5, 10 minutes, havin a grand ol time, swingin my legs, humming tunes n such...when all of a sudden, i hear the door handle jiggle. for a split second, i freeze in place. O GOD, PLEASE TELL ME I REMEMBERED TO LOCK THE DOOR. i remembered back and reassured myself that indeed, i did lock the door no more than 10 min ago and that all was fine in the handicapped restroom. so i chill...until the handle turned all the way and THE DOOR SWUNG OPEN. time seemed to slow down and all i remember is being able to see more n more of the hallway outside the restroom. im sitting there bare-assed, on the shitter, pants around my ankles, shirt draped across my thighs, paralyzed with fear, a glazed over look in my eyes, looking like a deer in the headlights. apparently whoever opened the door was talking to someone and had their head turned the other way, so they didnt immediately see what the fuck was going down. but i was too paralyzed with utter disbelief to reach down and pull my pants up. all i remember thinking was O DEAR LORD, I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.....I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING....I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING....so the girl turns around and our wide-eyes meet. she utters a gasp and all i can stammer is "whoa...whoa...whoa..." she quickly mutters something about the door being hard to lock (gee thanx for the warning...for a second there, i thought i was a fucktard who decided to take a crap with the doors unlocked) and slams the door...and im sitting there face as red as my ass, head still buzzing about what the hell jus happened in the last 10 seconds...i STILL cannot believe what she jus saw...me slumped over a toilet with my ass hanging out...so i start laughing to myself... this is the shit that happens in sitcoms i thought...not real life....UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE. lol. anyway, so i finish my business PROMPTLY, roll out, and head down the hill, still chuckling to myself about how this lil trauma will make for an entertaining story...

ah so thats that. the comedy that is me loife. funny thing is, i alwayz thought that if this kinda stuff ever happened to me, id b so embarrassed, id never use a public restroom again...but for some reason this isnt the case at all....im not so much embarrassed about what happened as so very amused by it... i mean ill never see that girl ever again...frankly i dont even remember her face, i was so terrified at the moment...but hey i figured, this kinda shit only happens so rarely, so i decided to cherish the hilarity and remember the event in its fullest detail while i still can... and well i did shed tears telling the story to mary and karlo and they did the same laughing about it... what more could i ask for?

Stuffed hamburger 1, Dining hall worker 0

2005-09-27T23:19:00.000-04:00

Stuffed hamburger 1, Dining hall worker 0

So my Mongolian friend Lolland (that's Rolland with an azn accent, he calls me Wirriam) gave me this stuffed hamburger cd case like 2 years ago when he went to Hong Kong. I put some important computer cds in there, like my program files, backup cds, and os system setup disks and what not. The hamburger cd case usually sits by my window sill, on a pile of cds, so itz pretty level with the window itself (i.e. a slight push can send the hamburger soaring out my third story window...hmm kinda foolish to place it there now that i think about it...)

ANYWAY...
So i come home from work today and i see my window wide open and the curtains billowing in the wind. hamburger cd case is GONE. im like o shit...hope it didnt fly out the window (trying to deny the inevitable...) and i frantically start seaching my room....i mean itz a fucking jumbo sized stuffed hamburger -- couldnt possibly be that hard to SEE IT. after 5 min of rummaging, i came to the conclusion that indeed the hamburger flew out my fucking window...it was a pretty windy day today. so i like stick my head out the window and observe that right below my window is the back door to the dining hall, the one that the workers use to get in and out of the building....look around for a while and figure that no itz not there, the workers mustve seen it and taken it in....so i decided to go down to my dining hall to "ask for my hamburger back". i get down there and heres the general exchange between me and the old lady who works the booth:

Me: "ok, what about to say may sound really weird but i think my cd case flew out my window and landed behind the dining hall...by the backdoor... (i decided it was best to leave out the hamburger part)....have u guys seen it in the back by any chance?"
Lady: "was it a GIANT HAMBURGER?" *capitalized for emphasis*
Me: "YES! do u guys still have it??"
Lady: "Yeah, its sitting back in the office. apparently, it (get this) HIT A DINING HALL WORKER ON THE HEAD. she said someone threw it at her (what a horrible horrible liar lol. how dare she).
Me: *mouth agape* OMG i am so sorry...is she ok?? i mean it was a SOFT, stuffed burger...and besides i wasnt in the room when it soared out the window...it was a total accident...im really sorry"

yadiyadiyada...more profuse apologies and i get my burger back! whooopeee!

kate and mel were sitting in the dining hall during this lil incident and kate pointed out that it was really ironic that a dining hall worker was hit by a giant burger...i laughed and agreed...i mean if i was really upset with a dining hall worker or the food they made, wouldnt i would wanna hurl A REAL BURGER at them?? hell yes. shit, i wouldnt throw a stuffed burger with my cds in it from a third story window while they were unaware. id throw it straight at them soaking in condiments from two feet away. if i wanted them to know how upset i was with the dining hall food, i dont think id ever do it clandestinely from above. (food is a sensitive topic...) shit id let em know up front, burger, ketchup, mayo AND soda in the FACE! god knows no one FACKS up my food and gets away with it....so far theyve kept me generally appeased with the food....but egad some days they push it...

my obsession with food goes as follows:

2005-09-25T17:08:00.000-04:00

my obsession with food goes as follows:

so i wake up this afternoon at 345 pm not bc i was hungry (shit i couldve slept till 6 pm) but because i remembered i had a bag of doritos sitting on the window sill. i was sittin at me comp ravenously eating my chips like a lil hamster when karlo called at 350, asking if i still wanted to make lunch at thai taste. of course, i never turn down good food but i knew lunch at thai taste (translation: cheaper prices) ends at 4 pm. so we mutually decide to throw on whatever clothes was in sight and HAUL ASS to meet at thai taste. hell i didnt even wash my face or brush my teeth. karlo was literally running to thai taste (*cough* fat ass *cough*) lol.

ahh.....and now i sit here content with orgasmic pad thai, blanket shrimp, and thai tea in my stomach....

i had a really weird but comforting dream last nite (it was actually one of many i had last nite, but this one i remember most vividly). karlo had come down for thanksgiving and i took him to our annual extended family get-together at my aunt's. knowing my really conservative viet family, i would get hell and a half for bring my guy to a family thing. speaking of which, back to reality now, my sister called me frantically the other wk and tol me she overheard my aunts and grandma sitting down at a table discussing rumors of my being gay. apparently they had all heard from one source or another that i liked dick...my grandmother (rather humorously i think) was in denial and disbelief...apparently she missed all the signs of my raging homosexuality. alrite back to the dream, so yeah i expected to catch a lot of shit when i walked into the house. indeed the atmosphere did get a lot thicker and more serious when karlo and i walked into the room. BUT instead of yelling and screaming, my grandma started talking to me in this calm, comforting voice. i dont remember what was exactly said but she said she didnt have a problem with me being gay and bringing my bf over...i remember real clearly the part where she said that karlo looked like he was genuinely caring and that he looked like a keeper...that his face told her that he took care of me well...i dunno -- that part stuck with me really well even when i was awake....it meant a lot to me...anyway i dunno what that could possibly mean...or y i dreamt that...good stuff though =]

part of another dream i remember -- karlo and i had snuck into a theme park and were riding this wooden rollercoaster and like as we were about to go over the last and highest hill, it got stuck and we ended up jus coasting to the bottom...lol i was kinda annoyed. piece of shit coaster. theme park in my dreams has been closed until further notice.

Foooooooood is gewd.

2005-09-24T05:58:00.000-04:00

Foooooooood is gewd.

So i was sitting at ivy noodle with therese, mel, and karlo and figured i would create a blog just to have a space of mah own to express my random stories, humor, issues, news, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

This first entry shall consist of insults mary, juan, and i came up with at thai taste friday nite to hurl around.

1) Po'gly = poor AND ugly.
2) Trannymal = transsexual animal
3) Masshole = massive asshole (we didnt
personally make this one up - i had jus heard it being used and decided to mention it to juan n merrr)
4) Atrugly = atrociously ugly

<--mary is all four.